February 11, 2011

Seven Tips to Enhance Romance

Roses. Kisses. Candlelight dinners. Valentine’s Day is here, and romance is in the air. But is Valentine’s day only about giving flowers, candy and cards? Definitely not! Romance does not have to be complicated (or expensive). Simply doing special things for the one you care about most can add sparkle and spice. The way you interact, communicate and show respect for your mate can greatly improve a relationship and increase intimacy and romance. 

Below are seven suggestions to boost the romance in your relationship. While these tips don’t necessarily come in a box, they are still gifts to give to your significant other and your relationship. Choose one tip for each day of the week, or come up with some on your own, and see where your relationship is in a week!

Respect each other as individuals and adults. Keep mindful of your partner’s needs, desires and boundaries.  Respecting someone demonstrates you feel they are worthy and deserving of consideration and appreciation. Receiving respect compliments your self-esteem and adds to your confidence. Having mutual respect in a relationship is a core factor that invariably increases romance because you feel accepted for the person you are.

Offer something to improve his or her day. When you have respect for someone, you naturally want to offer something of yourself to make his or her day a little better. You can surprise your partner with a favorite meal or outing, or do something as simple as running and errand from his or her list. The best gifts are your support, time and attention. Ask yourself what you can do to be loving and helpful to your mate each day.  You can also offer the temperaments of patience and understanding.

Make quality time for each other. Busyness can be a romance-buster. Just as you allot time to have your car maintained, your hair cut or your poodle pampered, you must schedule uninterrupted quality time to share your life and love. Show that you value the relationship and be willing to put some “to-do” items aside. This opens the door to a closer relationship where romance has the opportunity to bloom.

Appreciate your mate. It is important to show appreciation for the little and large ways your partner gives to the relationship. Notice their efforts, strengths and the sacrifices they make, and let your partner know how his or her behavior positively impacts you. Take note of the contributions he or she makes, and find something each day for which you can say “thank you.” You’ll see that attitude and romance will be improved.

Negotiate wants, desires ideas and plans. Be willing to try something new, and remain open for discussing different views and options. Any great long-term partnership is filled with continuous negotiation. Be willing to share opinions about what to do or how best to be together. Inflexibility and insisting on having things your own way will likely limit your partner’s expression of genuine love and romance.

Communicate openly. The healthiest relationships have open and honest communication. Show the other person that you want to really hear him or her. Listen for understanding. If one partner feels limited in speaking or sharing, true romance does not have a place to emerge.

Encourage each other. Life can be tough. How can you lift up and support each other? It could mean being supportive of your partner’s work, projects or plans. Let your partner know you believe in him or her. Also, ask for support and encouragement for what you need. A partnership is about being compassionate and helping one another. Encouraging each other is a boost to the relationship and the romance!

If you or someone you love needs help, contact Centerstone at 888-291- HELP (4357) or visit www.centerstone.org.

If you are in crisis, call Centerstone’s 24-Hour Crisis Intervention Hotline at 800-681-7444.

For more of Susan's Wellness advice, visit our Health and Wellness page.

About Centerstone
Centerstone, a not-for-profit organization, has provided a wide range of mental health and addiction services to people of all ages for more than 50 years. Through more than 60 facilities and 170 partnership locations across Middle Tennessee, Centerstone serves more than 50,000 children, adolescents, adults and seniors each year. Centerstone is accredited by the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF). For more information about Centerstone, please call 888-291-4357.

Susan GillpatrickAbout Susan Gillpatrick, MEd, LPC, CTS
Susan Gillpatrick, Centerstone Crisis Management Specialist, primarily works in the field with clients in critical incident response situations, and in Centerstone’s wellness trainings and presentations.  She is also responsible for planning and implementing marketing and growth strategies for Centerstone’s Crisis Management Strategies.

Ms. Gillpatrick is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Trauma Specialist, Certified Workplace Conflict Mediator, and Mental Health Service Provider in the state of Tennessee and a National Certified Counselor.  She is also a member the American Counseling Association, the Association of Traumatic Stress Specialists, the Tennessee Mental Health Counseling Association, and the Middle Tennessee Employee Assistance Professionals Association.  She is a frequent presenter at local and national conferences, and has had numerous articles published.  She received her Master of Education degree in Human Development Counseling from Peabody College at Vanderbilt University.

To request Susan Gillpatrick to speak with your group or organization about complete wellness in living, contact her at (615) 460-4445 or susan.gillpatrick@centerstone.org.